Behind the scenes at the magic factory.

depp-v-douchebag

Depp: I’ve been talking with Tim Burton and Danny Elfman, and we’re due to continue our Gothic franchise.

Disney Exec: I don’t know… “Sweeney Todd”…

Depp: This one’s perfect, it’s practically “Chocolate Factory” Two.

Disney Exec: I’m listening…

Depp: Beloved children’s classic! Psychedelic and lush art design! Toy tie-ins!

Disney Exec: Yes, I love it! What is it?!

Depp: Alice In Wonderland!

Disney Exec: Awesome! I’m tingling!

Depp: And it’s got the perfect role for me!

Disney Exec: Yes! The Mad Hatter! You’re a genius!

Depp: … Huh? … The Mad Hatter?

Disney Exec: Yeah. The Mad Hatter, it’d be perfect, you could pull a modified Jack Sparrow… It’d be great..

Depp: No! What!? I’m going to play Alice. Obviously, we’ll need a big graphics budget-

Disney Exec: WHAT!

Depp: Yeah, for the transformation into the title character…

Disney Exec: WHAT!

Depp: As I’m sure you’re aware, I’m contractually obligated to appear in every frame of the movie.

Disney Exec: But… Alice?…

Depp: Every. Frame. Of. The. Movie.

Disney Exec: What if you were in every frame of the movie, but as the Mad Hatter?

Depp: Every frame of the movie.

Disney Exec: I’ve got the perfect writer to hopelessly distort the original story so that the Mad Hatter is the main character. You’re going to love it.

Depp: Every frame of the movie.

Disney Exec: Just you wait and see.

— One year later —

Mitch: Jesus! Nobody cares, Mad Hatter — shut the fuck up!

Galumphing along to the dentist.

jabberwocky-inked-copy

Yeah, it’s a Jabberwocky. I watched Alice in Wonderland this weekend.

jabberwocky-copy

From the archives.

n-not-g-girl

By the way, this is what N-Girl should look like.

Mount Rushmore of the psychotic.

wierd-head-one wierd-head-three

wierd-head-two

Zardozian disembodied heads.

Year of the tigress.

meow-mainimage

Meow.

Costume drama and morality play.

ellington-velvetface-yel

It’s Ellington Velvetface, greasy English dandy. I believe he’s recently arrived in America to have his life redeemed by the true love of a common jazz-singing woman from Harlem.

ellington-velvetface-purp

Did this piece in illustrator, so, of course, there’s a high-res pdf, if you want to put it on your cat’s birthday invitations.

Give that guy a hand.

give-this-guy-a-hand-copy

Yeah. I want to set this up for you. In my Tuesday improv class, a couple of class-mates went up to do a “Star-Trekky” scene. One of the pair decided to be an alien, and to achieve the illusion, he put his hand up over his face. Soon, much wacky business was involved, and we in the class enjoyed the scene. So here’s that goofy hand-face-alien, just recently promoted to blue-shirt.

Walk! Don’t Walk! This will be on the final!

professor-stoplight

The sinister Professor Stoplight has some nefarious schemes up his leather-patched sleeves.

An extinction-level-event of fruit flavor.

watermelon-apatasaur-copy

Artificial watermelon-flavored apatosaur.

untitled-1

It ain’t no daisy walk through the cake factory.

purple-girl

Photoshop painting is a little tough. I think my main problem is I blew it with the underpainting. That’s probably the key to the operation.

Even a dragonman’s gotta eat.

draco-021710

There ya go, a little Draco. I think he’s about to eat his pipe. And yes, I drew him without reference again.

Still not a meerkat.

ring-tailed-cat-squared

California ring-tailed cats. Actually cousins to the ubiquitous raccoon, these critters are cooler than the banner-bearing California grizzly bear. If you ask me.

ring-tailed-cat

This one’s wrong, not realistic, and not cartoony. Troublesome all around.

Depthless perception.

cy-clops

Look it’s Cy Clops! Play it cool, maybe we can get an autograph.

scoop

Also weather-beaten private detective. Made out of Illustrator.

Perhaps he’s not-a-civet?

polecat-caddy-crop

Speaking of things that aren’t what they are: Here’s not not-a-meerkat. I know he’s not-a-meerkat, even though he’s got that stripey tail, mainly due to the smart suit that I think he’s wearing to private school.

Officially incorrect.

n-girl-crop

Look, it’s not N-Girl (formerly not known as ‘G-Girl‘)

Yeah, this is way off-model. Even the coloring is wrong. It should be a black and orange racing jacket and silver earrings and her skin should have a more olive cast. But the really derailing aspect is the nose, it should be longer and more aquiline.

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